A Matter of Trust
by kitty27
Summary: Revised summary: Alt end to The Beginning goes though most of season 6. MSR eventually. FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't claim rights to any of the characters, storylines, etc. Just for fun. Don't sue.

This is kind of an alternate ending to "The Beginning" and picks up in the FBI office right after Scully tells Mulder of her suspicions about Agent Diana Fowley.

CHAPTER 1

"You're asking me to make a choice?"

His words stung her to the core, taking her aback not only in their meaning, but also in their presentation. The last time he looked at her that way was when they first met in his office, so many years ago. When he assumed she had been sent to spy on him. When he was suspicious of her motives.

It was a look that she had never in her life expected to see again: It was a look of distrust.

And for once, she could not bring herself to respond to him. Her mouth slightly agape, she handed him the file in her hands. A file containing the work she put so many hours into. A facet of her life she had long ago grown used to – hours, days, weeks, time was something she never considered because she knew their work was important. And for its importance she had sacrificed – greatly. Losing her beloved sister, her daughter and her ability to carry children, giving up any chance she had at a life outside of her work and almost dying for it many times. Not to mention how many times she had agonized over him as he had also lain at death's door.

It was part of her life. The work she had invested her mind, heart and soul into. Until now she had never doubted her role in the vast scheme of it all. She believed in it, believed in him. Not so long ago he stood in his hallway telling her how he needed her, how he didn't want to do this without her, how she completed him. And circumstance had prevented her from telling him she felt the same.

In the long run, she thought maybe he knew. That their bond, albeit unspoken, was as strong to him as it was to her. She wanted to believe…..

And now it seemed that the feeling was not as mutual as she had presumed. His look of disgust at the file she held in her hand spoke volumes to just how mistaken she had been.

"I can't take that. Not if it….."

She couldn't bear to hear anymore. She dropped the file on his lap and turned toward the door. He stood and in doing so, knocked the evidence she had so carefully gathered to the floor.

"Scully…"

She felt angry, hurt and worst of all, betrayed. But she would be damned if she was going to let him see it. She had given him the evidence and if he refused to see it out of some misguided devotion to a woman who was refusing to show him the same, she was not going to waste anymore time with it today.

"I never once considered asking you to make a choice, Mulder," she said flatly. "Because I never thought there was a choice to be made."

Then, against her better judgment, she turned to meet his bewildered stare.

"Apparently, you do."

With that, she turned and exited the office.

--------------

Later that afternoon 

Mulder sat at his desk looking at the stack of "garbage detail" A.D. Kersh had assigned to him. He had absolutely no desire to go through the "whipping boy" motions. All he really wanted to do was get back to work – his real work – the X-files.

But there was something more that was bothering him. Scully's words repeated over and over in his head and it frustrated him. He pondered how he could make her see that he knew what he was doing. That for all of her skeptism and obstinance, he was in the right.

Their careers together hadn't been so unlike this situation. But for all their previous disagreements, they had always been able to come to some kind of agreeable resolve. Something told him that would not be the case this time.

He sighed and started flipping through the Kersh's assignments, and in doing so, his hand grazed the file Scully had handed him.

He thought for a second to throw it away. If it was nothing more than some far-reaching "proof" of Diana's alleged duplicity, he didn't want to see it. He knew Diana. He loved Diana….or had loved her. He believed she would never betray him.

But Diana had left him before, his memory reminded him. She had asked him to make a choice: Her or the work. As a result of his decision, she asked for reassignment – to Europe. She had said she needed to put as much space between her and him as possible. And that had hurt him deeply. Even though she was back now, begging for forgiveness and helping him at the risk of her own career, he couldn't forget the pain she had once caused him.

Pain had become a relative thing to him. He had lived with it for so long, since the abduction of his sister, the murder of his father, Scully's abduction…… He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to think about that time. Those months of unanswered questions and the despair he had felt and being utterly powerless to help his partner. Only to have her returned to him to watch her almost die from cancer.

Looking back, she had almost died countless times. Almost died for his quest, his cause. And still she remained diligently at his side at the risk of her own reputation and health. For that, how had he repaid her?

Still, she was wrong. But even as he grabbed his jacket and the file and headed for the parking garage, he knew he owed her concerns more than a blatant dismissal.

Taking out his cell phone, he dialed her number. After several unanswered rings, her voicemail kicked in.

"Scully, it's me," he said as he reached his car. "We've got to talk. I'm on my way to your place now. I'll try your home number and see if you're there."

And he did just that, but again, the phone went unanswered until finally, her answering machine picked up.

"Hi Scully, it's me," he repeated with some exasperation. "Look, I've got to talk to you. I just left a message on your cell. If you're home, pick up."

He waited a few seconds but when there was no response, he gave up.

"I'm coming to see you."

He pressed the end button and tossed the phone on the passenger seat of his car as he drove away. He was so lost in his frustration that he didn't notice the black Cadillac pull out after him.

-----------------------------

His car pulled in front of Scully's apartment building and he looked up at her window. The lights were on and he could see movement within.

"Good, she's home," he thought to himself as he walked up the stairs and entered her building.

When he finally reached her apartment, he hesitated a minute before knocking.

"If she's home, why didn't she call me back?" he wondered. His answer came to him in the memory of the way Scully had looked at him before she had left earlier that day. Despite this, he rapped on the door.

The door opened slowly but the person on the other was not who Mulder had expected to see.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in confusion.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer in Chapter 1, applies to whole sha-bang.

CHAPTER 2

Frohike smirked and opened the door wider for Mulder to enter.

"Take it easy there stretch," he said sarcastically. "I'm not stalking Agent Scully or anything. Well, not anymore. She called me and asked me to meet her here."

Mulder raised his eyebrows, mostly as if he expected further explanation. Frohike responded by shrugging and leaning against the couch.

"What did she want?" he said surprisedly.

Frohike glared at Mulder.

"Is it so impossible to assume that an attractive woman might seek my company for enjoyment?"

Mulder tilted his head down and gave Frohike a look that insinuated "oh really?" The shorter man shrugged again and folded his arms.

"Okay, maybe not, but other than that I can't tell you."

Mulder nodded and looked around. He saw the jacket Scully was wearing earlier tossed over one of the chairs in her kitchen. He looked at the Lone Gunman again.

"Is she here?" he asked expectantly.

Frohike sniffed and shifted his weight to one side.

"No," he paused, thinking something over. "She was here. She had to leave. Something came up."

Now Mulder was really suspicious. It wasn't like Scully to get involved in something serious without contacting him first. Why had she gone to Frohike? That didn't make sense to Mulder…..

"Unless," his mind chimed in. "She knew it was something you wouldn't hear."

Mulder shook his head and rubbed his eyebrows.

"She's still investigating Diana, isn't she?"

Frohike's body language gave him all the answer he needed. It infuriated him more. Why couldn't she just trust his judgment on this? Why did she feel the need to go behind his back and involve his friends. He had introduced her to Frohike for God's sake, and now she had him teaming up on Diana? Her obstinance aggravated the hell out of him.

Mulder stiffened up and moved for the door.

"I don't have time for this," he said reaching for the knob.

"For someone who is supposed to be so brilliant at reading people, you really are an idiot." Frohike chimed in.

Mulder turned slowly and approached the smaller man, coming almost toe to toe to him.

"Excuse me?"

Frohike motioned Mulder to the couch. When he refused to move, Frohike straightened his leather jacket and stared Mulder in the eye.

"You don't get it do you?" he started the lesson. "She's not here because she's out digging up dirt on Lady Di, she left because she knew you were coming and she doesn't want to see you."

Mulder frowned, his brow creasing, causing his hazel eyes to become the size of slits.

"Why? What did I do?"

Frohike threw his hands up in the air in alienation.

"See, this is what I mean," he yelled. "You can dissect the mind of a serial killer right down to his favorite type of dental floss but you don't even try to understand your partner. You may think you know her mind but you know little else about her, my tall friend."

This caused Mulder to take a seat on the couch. All this information was becoming a lot to absorb.

"You're wrong," he said calmly. "I know Scully better than anyone."

Frohike walked behind the couch and leaned close to Mulder.

"Oh yeah?" he whispered. "How come you can't prove it?"

Mulder turned, incredulous to the man's accusation.

"What do you mean?" he said. "Since when do I have to prove anything to you? Or Scully?"

Frohike smirked and sat down in a chair opposite the couch.

"It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it?" he said. "Scully has had to prove herself to you each day you've worked together. I'd be willing to bet she always felt like she was still on the outside looking in. But still, she kept going. How would you like to have your deepest insecurities thrown back into your face? Especially by someone you trusted so much."

Mulder started to turn red. Not from embarrassment, but from anger.

"I never forced her to do anything!" he yelled. "No one held a gun to her head to keep her on the X-Files. She could have left anytime she wanted too!"

He paused to catch his breath.

"Wait….trusted? She doesn't trust me anymore?"

Frohike sighed and stood up.

"You still haven't learned anything have you?"

Now, Mulder was on his feet.

"Well, why don't you educate me?"

Frohike walked toward the door and stopped, looking at Mulder.

"Did it ever occur to you to ask yourself why Scully stayed on the X-Files after everything that had happened to her?" he said. "Or better yet, name one other person that has shown you the kind of dedication Dana has and then try to tell me she doesn't deserve better than to be a second priority."

Mulder stood there, still angry but more resigned.

"I never thought of her as a second priority," he muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets like a child who had just been scolded by his parent.

As Frohike opened the door, Mulder reached out to stop him.

"Wait," he said. "You still never told me what you were doing here?"

Frohike looked down and away.

"Scully said she needed a ride to the airport," he said, handing Mulder a piece of paper. "But she was already gone when I got here."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Don't claim to. Just for fun.

CHAPTER 3

Frohike watched as Mulder got in his car and pulled away with little or no concern for the blue Ford Taurus that he cut in front of. The Lone Gunman shook his head and pulled his coat tightly around him as he walked toward his own van, parked a block away.

While he walked, he took a moment to marvel at Mulder and what he had going for him. Frohike wasn't envious, per se, he was more baffled at how someone could act so confident yet be so confused, be it consciously or not.

As he got into the driver's seat of the van, he sighed and scratched his head.

"Sorry about that," he said to his passenger.

The dark, yet slightly lit street illuminated her profile only somewhat, but he didn't need light to tell she was scowling.

"No, I'm sorry Melvin," Scully said. "I didn't want to put you into the middle of something like this."

Frohike opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it and started the engine. The drive to Dulles was silent, despite his desire to speak some kind of comfort to her. He wasn't very good with these types of situations.

"I wouldn't take it too personally Dana, he has always had a blind spot for women who like to walk all over him."

As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back. At of the corner of his eye he could see Scully shift in her seat. Her now obvious discomfort wasn't physical, it was clearly emotional…and that made it all the worse for her.

"Duly noted," she said flatly.

Frohike mentally berated himself for rubbing salt into what seemed to be a pretty nasty wound and adjusted his rearview mirror, if for no other reason than to avert his concentration. Scully had been very specific when she left her apartment: "I can't even look at him right now. I need some time."

Seconds later, a shrill ringing sound came from Scully's pocket. She leaned to her left to fish it out, giving Frohike a chance to take in her perfume, looked at the caller identification on the phone, frowned, and quickly pressed the "End" button to power the phone off.

"What an idiot," Frohike thought to himself as he pulled off the freeway to the Dulles International Airport exit. He hoped the note he had given Mulder would be enough to make the man pull his head out of his ass.

Mulder hit the "Send" button on his phone again, but this time the call went straight to voicemail. He knew this meant her phone had been turned off.

He slammed the phone against the steering wheel, as if sheer will power alone would alleviate the problem and cause Scully to answer. That, however, didn't seem to be in the cards on this particular night.

The parking garage at Dulles was, of course, almost full and it took Mulder several minutes before he could find anything resembling a parking space. Muttering an obscenity under his breath, he slammed the door closed and practically sprinted to the nearest elevator.

The information on the piece of paper Frohike handed him was sparse but it was enough:

Americana Air FLIGHT 1013

7:45 p.m.

Gate 22A

He knew he would only be able to get so far before the security checkpoint would cut him off, his only chance to catch her would be if he could find her before she went through it.

Up to this point, he hadn't given much thought to what Frohike had said to him earlier. He had more or less been concentrating on getting here in one piece without killing anyone else. But now, as he stood waiting and watching, his short friend's words invaded his conscious.

The statements were disturbing to him, to say the very least. Who was he to judge the quality of his partnership with Scully? There was no way he could even try to fathom all that they had been through together.

Noting that, he grew more annoyed at the thought that Scully could so easily dismiss him. "Doesn't she owe me the benefit of the doubt at least once in a while?" he thought to himself as he strained his eyes over the crowd.

Whatever her rationale, or "ir-rationale," he thought, he couldn't let this volatility sit between the two of them. Especially since he had no idea where she was going or when she would be back. He glanced at his watch: 7:30.

Minutes seemed to last hours as he continued his impromptu surveillance until finally he caught sight of her familiar figure walking towards the security checkpoint, a carry-on slung over one shoulder. She was moving quickly, obviously trying to make her flight causing Mulder to have to push his way through the gathered crowds. However the more he pushed through it seemed, the further away she got.

"Scully!" he yelled, resorting to making a scene in order to get his partner's attention. "Scully wait!"

For a moment, he saw her pause and he expected her to turn back and meet his gaze. Instead, her shoulders tightened and she began to walk faster toward the security screener.

"She's walking away from me," Mulder realized, shocked at her ambivalence. "She had to have heard me."

His frustration and confusion then turned into anger as he watched her walk through the metal detector, grab her carry-on on continue to the gate, all without so much as a turn to acknowledge his presence.

In the back of his mind, a memory pushed through.

"After all you've seen you can just walk away?"

"I have. I did, it's done."

Mulder paused.

"Please don't do this to me."

He couldn't tell if it was his memory of Scully's words or his own thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer same as in all the other chapters. Don't own them, don't claim them, please don't hurt me.

CHAPTER 4

District Court of San Diego

18 hours later

The hallway was still the same, as was the feeling of anxiety that Scully had experienced in what seemed to almost a year prior to this. She sat alone on the bench, her elbows on her knees, staring at her hands, which were clasped together. After a moment, she noticed just how tightly her hands were gripping each other. She exhaled slowly, thinking this was a posture she had seen her partner in numerous times.

She pushed the thought away and tried to focus her attention on the present. In this particular moment, she felt more alone than ever. She looked at her watch for the 30th time and started to lightly tap her foot on the ground.

Before long, she heard the rhythmic sound of footsteps approaching and she scooted over so that her mother could sit down.

"Thanks for coming, Mom," she said somberly. "I'm sorry to pull you away from your vacation with Bill and Tara. I just needed someone who would understand here."

Her mother reached down and squeezed her only daughter's hand. Then she reached up and pushed a stray lock of hair out of Scully's face.

"Dana, where's Fox?" she inquired softly. "Didn't he come with you?"

Scully half-smirked at this. No matter how many times she had instructed her mother otherwise, she still called Mulder by his first name.

"His mother gave him that name for a reason, Dana," she would always say in response. "I'm just being respectful. I would expect the same from her."

Then it occurred to her, she had no idea if there was a story behind his first name or not. Despite her best efforts, she found herself wondering if Fowley knew.

She shook her head to rid herself of the thought but Margaret Scully interpreted it as a response to her previous question.

"Is everything okay, dear?" she asked, concern framing her lovely, mature face.

Scully smiled faintly and nodded.

"I'm fine, Mom," she said. "I needed to do this without Mulder."

She knew that was half true. She did need to do this without her partner, but she was far from fine. Deep down, she was a wreck, a bundle of nerves and all she really wanted to do was stomp her feet, scream, yell and throw things.

But that would look childish. And she knew wherever he was, her father would expect better from her.

She expected better from herself.

But Margaret Scully could pass as the human lie detector any day and she didn't buy her daughter's response.

"What's happened?"

Scully sat there and thought about it. She didn't really want to get into this now. But she could feel the foundation of her sanity beginning to crack and the only person she could trust to tell this to was the woman sitting next to her.

Before she knew it, she was confessing like she was talking to a priest.

"I didn't tell him I was coming here," she began. "I know he would've come with me had I asked, but this….I just needed to be for me."

Margaret Scully wordlessly rubbed her daughter's back as she continued.

"It's hard to explain. I just feel like … I don't know, like I'm losing myself in some ways. I've found myself becoming more and more dependant on him. Everything in my life is connected to him in some way, and yet that connection can sometimes feel so toxic. I'm putting so much stock, so much faith into one person that he is actually becoming a part of who I am. And it scares the hell out of me."

"Why Dana?"

She stared at the wall for a moment and then looked down. Her face colored by the crimson of shame.

"I think maybe I have put more into him than he has into me, Mom. And I find myself wondering more and more what my life would be like had I walked away early on. But what scares me is that the idea of that is so wounding, and in feeling that way, I realize I would make all the same decisions I have to this point. And that makes me feel so…..so……"

Scully bit her lower lip and looked away from her mother.

"Pathetic. Especially since I should be thinking about other things, right now. Now of all times."

Margaret pulled her daughter into a mother's embrace and stroked her head, providing her with the same unspoken comfort as she did when Dana was a child and upset at the misgivings of life.

"Dana, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You always have been. And whatever you are feeling inside right now, whatever doubts you may be having about your life, there is one thing I am certain of."

Scully met her mother's eyes and tried to keep her lower lip from trembling.

"Fox Mulder is a better person because of you and you are because of him. Even if neither of you can ever admit that. You just have to trust it."

Dana's response was interrupted as the courtroom door swung open. A tall, middle-aged woman in a navy blue suit signaled to Scully and her mother. Robotically, the two women stood up and walked into the courtroom.

After a few moments, an older man wearing a black rob sat in an overpriced chair overlooking the wide and mostly empty courtroom. He removed his glasses and looked down at Scully. She swallowed hard, as nervous as if God himself were about to judge her.

"Miss Scully, I have reviewed your petition for posthumous adoption of one, Emily Sim, and I must tell you, this case was indeed a rarity for me. I don't think I need to remind you that posthumous adoptions are not something that happen everyday and when they do, the circumstances have to be extraordinary. "

Scully faintly nodded as the judge flipped through some papers.

"I can't even begin to adequately understand how the young girl came to be or how genetically, she was your daughter, however, the DNA and the science in her medical records are irrevocable, which gives me no doubt that Emily Sim was, biologically, your daughter."

Scully swallowed hard again. She had an idea of where this was going but she was not ready to admit it, until the judge said "But…"

"Biology aside, there are no additional members of the Sim family to represent the child's interest, even in the posthumous sense. I haven't been given anything substantial to believe this child was not part of a family. Therefore, I have no adequate proof that this girl wasn't given the proper parental care as you attest. Because of this, I can see no judicious reason to approve your posthumous adoption request. I'm sorry Miss Scully."

The judge then stood and left.

Scully sat in her chair, contemplating what had just been finalized. Her mother rested her hand on her shoulder.

"It was a long shot," Scully said dryly. "I knew it would be."

Margaret Scully squeezed her daughter's shoulder in silence.

"I just wanted her to have something of mine that was lasting, Mom," she said slowly as the tears she fought to control finally came raging out. "I just wanted her to have our name."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for the reviews I've gotten so far. I love feedback, good or bad. This story may up being longer than I thought it would be, but I'm going to try some stuff out.

Disclaimer: CC owns them, not me, I'm just having fun.

CHAPTER 5

Alexandria, Virginia

Sometimes Mulder didn't need the help of the alarm to wake up. Most times it was because he hadn't slept. Other times it was because of the brightness of the morning sun as the light would come pouring through the windows. Today, it was because some lunatic was stupid enough to pound at his door at 5:45 in the morning.

He grumbled as he pulled himself off of his couch and shuffled to the door, rubbing his face to become coherent. The obvious questions of who would be outside his apartment this early and what they would want was the only thing driving his feet to move.

He looked through the peephole in his door and with some confusion, unlatched the chain to open it.

"Diana?" he asked groggily.

Agent Fowley smiled slightly and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She was dressed for work and kept looking around, suspicious that someone might see her. In her hand, she carried a dark brown briefcase with a serious looking lock on it.

"I'm sorry to come unannounced and so early," she said uneasily. "Can I speak with you?"

Mulder opened the door wider for her to enter. She walked in slowly and proceeded to the living room where she took a seat on Mulder's "bed."

"What's going on?" he asked hesitantly as he stood in the living room doorway.

Fowley took a key out of her pocket and opened the briefcase. Inside were many files, but it was the one on the top of the pile that Fowley took out and handed to Mulder.

"An X-file?" Mulder asked as he flipped through the pages.

Fowley closed the briefcase and sighed.

"No," she explained. "It's a case I worked a few years ago in Prague. It involved a terrorist cell whose members were planning to use chemical weapons they had gotten from black market operatives in the east. Serious weapons that contained VX gas components. A lot of people would have died, but we got lucky. It didn't come without a price though."

Mulder continued to look through the file with interest as Fowley went on:

"One of our agents was shot and killed during the raid. Special Agent Sarah Holcomb." Fowley handed Mulder another file, this one was Holcomb's personnel file.

"Sarah was brilliant. Top of her class at Berkeley. Top of her class at Quantico. She spoke 14 languages fluently. The CIA wanted her but she wanted the FBI. So she was assigned to the foreign terrorism office with me."

Mulder looked at the woman's picture and then turned the page to a copy of her death certificate.

"What happened to her?" he asked, beginning to wonder why she was telling him this. Fowley stood and closed her briefcase.

"She was shot during the raid. When she was killed, her family petitioned everyone, the FBI, Congress, even the military for a full investigation into the cause of her death."

Mulder frowned and looked at the autopsy report.

"It says here she died as the result of a gunshot wound to the head. What made them think otherwise?"

Fowley stood for a second and then walked closed to him, creating a strange uneasiness Mulder hadn't expected to feel.

"Sarah was a great agent, but she and I didn't always see eye to eye, to put it mildly. There were cases where she would deliberately leave me out of the loop and occasionally, I did my best to keep her out of my hair as well. It created a lot of tension. I don't know what or who led them to believe this, but her family became convinced that when Sarah died in that raid, it wasn't as the result of enemy fire."

Mulder closed the file and stared at Fowley.

"They believe I shot her, Fox," she said slowly. "Even though there were 13 other agents there that witnessed Sarah's death. They still believe I killed her out of nothing more than pettiness."

She reached out to take the file from Mulder, grazing his fingers with her hand.

"Of course the FBI's internal investigation exonerated me from such claims, but it still haunts me. I may be many things, but I am not a murderer."

Mulder put his hand on her shoulder and lightly massaged it.

"I know you're not Diana," he said. "But why are you telling me all this?"

Fowley reached up and squeezed his hand, then began to walk toward the door.

"I wanted you to know my side before someone else brings this up to you," she said.

Mulder was confused again. "Who would do that?"

Fowley opened the door and stepped into the hallway. "I received word that an agent from our office was in San Diego this week interviewing Sarah's family about the incident. Maybe it's because I've been assigned to the X-files now. But regardless, someone is going through a lot of trouble to dredge up something that isn't there. I don't have a conclusive ID yet, but according to passenger manifests only one agent from the Washington Office took a flight to San Diego this weekend."

She handed him one more piece of paper, a printout of a flight manifest:

Americana Air FLIGHT 1013

Mulder felt a knot tie in his stomach as he searched the list of names, already knowing what he would find.

Roberts, Theresa

Rueland, Grace

Scully, Dana K.

Smith, Joseph

Smith, Renee

"Scully," he breathed.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to CC. I don't claim them. There are references to a couple episodes in here: "Drive" and "Triangle" so there is a spoiler alert.

CHAPTER 6

FBI Offices

Washington D.C.

First he was confused. Then he was angry. Now he wanted to understand. And because he wanted answers, it would only make sense that traffic would be tied up, it would take forever to find a parking spot and now the damn elevator was moving at a snail's pace.

When the blessed doors finally did open and released the tightly packed occupants, Mulder walked quickly to his desk, hoping that Scully would be there and she would be ready to answer some questions.

Half of his hope came true, his partner was at her desk but she was deep in conversation on the phone. Seeing her, however, made him take a few mental steps back.

"What the hell am I doing?" he berated himself. "This is Scully. Not Mata Hari. She would never betray me."

His conscious eased a little bit but the fact that she had took a flight to California and not mentioned anything about it to him was still troublesome. For the most part, they told each other pretty much everything, if for no other reason so that the other wouldn't worry.

He gave her a small smile as he approached his desk and she regarded him with her eyes. Her gray jacket highlighted her ocular blues, which also appeared to be very tired. Finally she hung up the phone.

Mulder rolled his chair closer to her desk and as he did, he noticed her body stiffen, but her expression did not.

"Long weekend?" he asked her in his usual office banter way.

She nodded. "Bad weekend. Forgive me, but I really don't want to talk about it right now." Her body seemed to relax a bit and she leaned forward.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving town," she said slowly, earnestly. "I had something I had to take care of and I need you to respect that I can't talk about it now."

Mulder leaned back and crossed his arms.

"Can't or won't?"

She didn't respond, she just stared at him.

"Maybe she didn't find what she thought she would," he thought to himself as she stood up and walked around her desk. She never answered his question.

"Kersh wants to see us, something about checking out fertilizer orders in Idaho," she said flatly.

Her partner grimaced but followed her. Whatever had happened, she looked worn down by it. He had seen it behind her eyes: hurt. Something had caused her pain and if she didn't want to talk about it, he wouldn't make her. He trusted that in time, she would tell him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that she had done so much for him that he respected and cared about her too much to throw this back in her face.

­­

"You can always quit."

She could tell Kersh wanted nothing more but for them to do just that. But THAT wasn't going to happen. Even as she stood there and defended her partner she knew no reasoning would ever justify their intentions. Kersh wanted them gone. A lot of people wanted them gone.

Some days, it really felt like all they had was each other and their faith in their work. And while she had felt far away from her partner when they left the office three days ago, knowing what he went through to help that poor man awakened the admiration she had long felt for him. Now, as he stood next to her, ever strong in his convictions, she felt more empowered, merely by his presence. She would always find the strength to keep fighting as long as he could.

There was still a distance between them, but not as much as there was before. One thing she was certain of, they were still a team. Even if the FBI didn't want them to be. And as for all of the garbage Kersh threw at them, well it was only…

"Big piles of manure."

She stood by his hospital bed watching him sleep and thanking God that all of his tests had come back okay. As long as he wouldn't suffer any long-term physical damage, she could kick his butt without feeling guilty.

When the Gunmen had told her what he had done, all she wanted to do was get to him before it was too late. He would have done the same for her, of that she was sure.

But then she wouldn't have pulled this type of stunt.

As she paced by the bed, one nagging element of this whole thing came back to her. When she was in the X-files, whoever had called for Spender had thought she was Agent Fowleywhen she picked up the phone. She couldn't get the voice or the words out of her head. She had no doubt of Spender's duplicity, and now…..why else would he tell Fowley about the note?

But that didn't matter now. She walked back to the bed as Mulder started to stir. She reached out to take his hand as he woke up.

"Oh….I feel……like hell." He said, lifting his head slightly then plunging it back down on the pillow.

Now it was time for her "You did something incredibly stupid" speech that she had been reciting over and over in her head, but then he started rumbling about 1939 and Nazis, and how she had been there and Skinner and something about a boat. It sounded like he had watched "The Wizard of Oz," one too many times. She easily deduced the painkillers must have been doing their magic.

"You believed me," he finally said, as sleep started to take hold of him again. She was just glad to have him back in one piece. "In your dreams. Mulder, I want you to click your heels together and say 'There's no place like home.'"

She was happy to have the levity in such a serious situation. As his eyes started to close she turned to walk away.

"Scully!"

His voice was urgent so she came back quickly, only to see him sitting up in bed. She leaned close so that he could understand she was still there.

"Yes?"

His appearance softened and he looked into her eyes. If she hadn't known that he was under the influence of some heavy drugs, that look would have reminded her of that moment in his hallway, before the stupid bee stung her.

"I love you."

She wasn't ready for that. Technically, it was the first time he had ever revealed any type of real feelings but admissions of affection shouldn't be taken to seriously when they are drug-induced. Given this, all she could muster was "Oh brother," as she turned and walked out.

As she walked down the hall to the vending machine, she passed the nurse who had been taking care of Mulder. She couldn't help herself.

"Excuse me, can I ask you what painkillers or sedatives are being prescribed to Agent Mulder?" she asked, flashing her badge. "They seem to be working very well."

The nurse looked at her then to the chart she was holding. After a second she responded.

"Mr. Mulder is being given a saline drip and aspirin, but that's all. His injuries didn't appear to be that serious. No painkillers have been prescribed."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you thank you thank you everyone for your feedback. I love reviews, good and bad so please feel free to post them. This installment takes place during One Son and references Two Fathers, The Rain King, How the Ghosts Stole Christmas, and Tithonus so beware spoilers.

Disclaimer: All of the characters, scenery, some of the quotes belong to Fox, CC and that whole crew. I don't claim them, just trying to make the voices in my head go away.

CHAPTER 7

Dana Scully had long ago resigned herself to the concept that her life would forever be an emotional rollercoaster. To maintain her sanity, she did what she could in order to hold on for the ride. She bottled up her feelings and kept her back and her spirit as rigid as she could. Even though such a philosophy earned her the nickname "Ice Queen" among some work circles, it was the best way she could find to keep a grip on reality.

But there were days when she just wanted to throw her hands up in the air and start screaming when the rollercoaster started that fast descent downward. After all, it seemed like everyone else was allowed to lose themselves in the twists and turns of the ride, why couldn't she?

For as many times as she asked herself that question, the answer never changed: Because Ahab taught her better than that.

But even now, as she stood in the cramped and messy offices of the Lone Gunmen, staring down the steely glare of her partner, she wanted nothing more than to throw her arms up and start bellowing to the heavens above.

But she didn't.

"You ask me to trust no one, but you give your trust to this woman on nothing more than simple faith." She was relatively calm and she wasn't about to break eye contact with him. He needed to see that she was as sure about this. She needed him to understand there was no doubt in her mind. She needed him to respect her strength of character that this wasn't a figment of her imagination.

And as happened so many, many times before, she did not get what she needed in return for her efforts.

He didn't even pause to consider what she was saying. "Because you haven't given me any reason here to do otherwise."

The arrogance in his voice made her angrier than she already was. His inability to even comprehend that once, maybe once she might be right about something was something she would never find endearing, but when all was said and done, she didn't know why she was surprised. She knew he how he would react to this. Even as she stood arguing her case, she knew she was wasting her time and energy.

It still hurt though, like a thousand knives ripping through her soul.

At some point, the presence of the three journalists behind her became transparent and she felt that rollercoaster start a heavy ascent that pulled on her very being. She knew why he was resisting her on this, she was not blind. Her partner, her best friend, her protector and endangerer, the one person she trusted above all others, the man she would die for and almost had on many occasions ­- was in love with this other woman who left him and came back.

"I had things at home I wanted to get back to."

It was clear now, Diana would be the one that would always have his unfailing loyalty. He trusted her more than anyone….and Scully felt like a fool for ever believing that she was irreplaceable to him.

The thought made her stomach do a flip-flop as the ride that had become her life seemed to become faster and more out of control. As the rollercoaster finished its climb upward, she looked down at the drop she was about to take. She felt the crash and burn coming on and she called on all that Ahab had taught her to give her strength.

Regardless of what was going on in Mulder's obviously fuddled brain, she was not about to go down without a fight. She would walk out of this room with some dignity.

"If that's the case, I can't help you anymore." She had work to do and she wasn't going to stand there and cowtow to foolish games when the matter at stake was that of life or death.

"Scully, you're making this personal."

"No kidding, Sherlock," she thought, but did not speak. Instead, she used what little restraint she had.

"It is personal. Without the FBI, personal interest is all I have left. And if you take that away from me, then there is nothing left for me here."

Knowing her patience and restraint were on a fraying thread, she sharply turned and left the small office, slamming the door prominently behind her.

In the wake of the argument, Byers, Langly and Frohike stood motionless and speechless. Mulder, however, seemed unphased by his partner's outburst but rather than say anything, he just looked at his friends, shrugged and quietly left, leaving the Gunmen with their own commentary once the door clicked shut.

"Idiot," they said in unison.

The door wasn't that thick and he heard their comments, but opted to ignore them for the time being. Mulder looked around the alley and shook off the agitation he was feeling about the whole situation.

He couldn't make sense of his partner's behavior. She was acting catty, territorial. If he didn't know her any better he would swear her tirades, including the one a few days ago at Fort Marlene, were the product of jealousy.

He had seen many different sides to Scully, but he didn't like this Scully. This seemed to be a Scully who would go behind his back to try and stick a knife in someone else's. In all honesty, he half expected her to bring up the Holcomb case and her trip to San Diego. Since she hadn't played that card, he figured she had definitely come up empty handed in that little excursion into Diana's past.

He frowned as he sat in his car for a moment. Scully, whether or not he cared to admit it, had become one of the few voices of reason in his head. Most of the time, she was the rock, the calm in the storm. What had changed?

It was Scully's voice of reason that had given him the file connecting Gibson's DNA to extraterrestrial DNA which was also part of junk DNA found in all humans.

She had been right then. But before he could acknowledge her discovery, he pushed her away. He pushed hard. He never did properly apologize for it either.

They walked a fine line for a short time after that. She had saved his ass from the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention the time they spent together on Christmas Eve, which started out freaky but ended comfortably. When she got shot in New York City……well, he chose not to think about that. That rookie was lucky she survived…..really lucky.

But it wasn't until the ordeal with Holman and Sheila in Kroner that he began to really examine his relationship with Scully. Really examine it. Not that he would ever tell Scully that, but for sometime it seemed that something had changed. Like a foundation had finally settled and they were able to build….something…..on it.

Now he felt it crumbling down. And that's when it struck him: "How many more times can we keep doing this?" he thought as he started the car. He had to do something to keep them from drifting like this. They may have been suspended goddamn weasel Spender but he never imagined that without the work, she would be able to walk out of his life.

He knew he needed to fight for her friendship, but he had no idea where to begin. At the very least, he figured he could start by giving her the benefit of the doubt. He pulled the car off the freeway and made his way to the Watergate Apartment complex.

The voice of reason in his head chimed in one more time as he pulled into the parking lot of the complex.

"Would you even be debating this if it were anyone other than Diana Fowley in question?"

This time, the voice was his own.


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: Don't own, don't claim them….blah blah blah. Spoilers for One Son.

CHAPTER 8

She drove, fast and furious. Cassandra was probably still at Fort Marlene and as long as there was breath in her body, she would do everything she could to get to her friend.

Even if she had to break into the maximum security military installation.

"How the hell am I going to do that?" she thought to herself. For a second, she considered calling Langly and asking him to hack her some credentials into the base, but then she dismissed it. This was getting out of hand and someone was going to get hurt.

At this particular moment, Scully didn't fear for herself as much as she did her friends.

"Cassandra," she kept telling herself. "I have to get to Cassandra."

She was frowning so hard she was beginning to give herself a headache. She was so worried for the older woman who had already been put through so much. All she wanted to do was make her safe.

She checked her rearview mirror to be sure that she wasn't being followed.

"God, you're really paranoid now, Dana," she thought to herself, grimacing. "You can thank Mulder for that."

She shook her head. She knew she shouldn't blame him for the tragic events of her life, she never had before. But she was angry now and the anger in her conscious was the culprit behind that voice. That voice, which sounded an awful like her brother, Bill's.

But the thought did tug at her. She was doing this alone and she hated it. This was uncharted territory for her. But what choice did she have? If she failed to act, Cassandra would certainly die.

And if Cassandra died, she really felt she would have nothing left to lose. She would make "them" pay. For Cassandra, for Melissa, for Emily, for Samantha, for Gibson, for herself. Even if it killed her.

The chirp of her cell phone pulled her out of her reverie. Out of habit, she thought it would be Mulder, but then she realized the way things were left, he would have no reason to call. He wasn't one to apologize.

She pressed the talk button.

"Scully."

A frantic voice surprised her.

"Agent Scully, it's Jeffrey Spender. I need your help."

Scully almost laughed. Almost.

"Oh really? With what?"

The tension in his voice alarmed her. Instinctively, she knew this time, there was no trick. Spender was in trouble.

"It's my mother, someone has to get to her before it's too late."

888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

Mulder sat in the chair tossing around everything CGB had told him as Diana hurriedly through a few things into a small duffle bag.

All that information in such a short period of time was a lot to digest, but time was not on their side. He had come here looking for answers, and boy oh boy, if that isn't what he got….sort of.

He sat there wondering why he wasn't more alarmed to find Cancerman making himself at home in Diana's apartment. Perhaps it was the severity of the situation. Everything was a matter of survival. He felt Diana's hand caress his shoulder and he looked up at her from his sitting position.

"Let's go, Fox." She said, half smiling as she reached down and wiped a smudge of her lipstick off of the corner of his mouth.

He nodded and stood. This was it, it all came down to life and death. He and Diana were going to live through the invasion…..many, many others would probably die.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. Diana looked at him quizzically taking his other hand in hers.

"Who are you calling," she quiered.

Mulder pushed the speed dial button one and lifted the phone to his ear.

Her phone rang in her hand before she even had time to make her call. Fortunately, the voice on the other end belonged to the person she needed to talk to. She quickly began asking questions.

"I'm with Diana," he said.

She flinched. "I'm coming to get you."

"No, we're coming to get you." She flinched again at the term "we're." She had to get control on this situation. She explained to him about Cassandra and Spender's call and the need to get to the rail yard.

But it was his response that would burn her more than any test, any bullet ever would.

"It's useless."

She caught her breath in disbelief. She was not hearing this. It was impossible. It had to be.

But in her soul, she knew he was serious.

He was giving up. The fight still needed to be fought, and he was throwing in the towel? This wasn't happening. She wasn't going to let it happen. Desperately, she tried one last thing, praying that it would work.

"I'm going whether you're coming with me or not."

After a brief pause, he acknowledged her insistence and came back to reality. As she drove to pick him up, however, the fear and betrayal she felt in her mind spread through her body and soul. This was not something that would be erased lightly.

Even after he was in the car, as they chased the train carrying Cassandra, tried everything they could to stop it, she felt as if she were living someone else's life.

The train didn't stop, it just mowed right through Scully's car and kept going. It was over. As they stood in the chill air, waiting for Skinner to arrive, Mulder kept talking about El Rico Air Force Base and the Syndicate, but Scully only half-listened.

She was so numb inside. She tried to get her mind around all that was happening but it was to no avail. It was as if reality and become one big ocean and she was stuck in the middle on a liferaft that was sinking fast.

Days later, while she and Mulder sat in Kirsh's Office and listened as Spender demanded their reinstatement to the X-Files, she was still unfocused. Her mind kept going back to the same thing:

"It's useless."

His statement was forever etched into her memory and she felt herself pull farther and farther away from her partner. Not that he was reaching out to her. In fact, the distance between them was more than noticeable.

At Skinner's insistence, Kirsh finally reinstated them to the X-Files. As they left his office, Mulder stayed behind to talk with Skinner. She didn't wait for him. She walked toward the elevator and pushed the button.

Everything was off. Weeks ago, she would have given anything to be back on the X-Files but this seemed so wrong…..she had to leave, clear her head. As the doors to the elevator opened, she heard him call her name from down the hallway.

"Not now," she thought to herself as she got on the elevator without acknowledging him. "I need to breathe." She turned and pushed the button, watching him approach at a fast rate. He didn't make it in time. The doors closed as the two agents stared helplessly at each other.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: My take on "the ring" from Travelers.

Disclaimer: Same as it is on all the other chapters.

CHAPTER 9

She sat at her kitchen table, staring at the wall. Her hands folded in her lap, her untouched tea getting colder by the second.

For once in her life, she felt totally lost. Even when she was sick with cancer, she found her focus in her drive to keep working. Things had changed. She knew it. She would walk into that cluttered basement office tomorrow and everything would be different.

"Why am I going back?"

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard on that one. The work that seemed so important once, now felt like a dagger held in front of her chest and that by returning to that office, she would impale herself on it.

"It's useless."

If she went back, she would no doubt find herself in harm's way again. It was an inevitable part of working on the X-Files. It sometimes felt like she had been in the hospital more times as a patient than as a doctor.

Now, things had changed and she wondered if next time would be different. Before she at least had the security of knowing he would fight for her, if by no other way than through the strength of his beliefs.

She wasn't so sure that was the case anymore. The next time might not mean a trip to the hospital. The next time might mean a trip to the morgue.

She didn't fear death, but after her father and Melissa, she wasn't sure how much more her poor mother could take. How could she willingly put herself into a life or death situation blindly? Especially knowing now that there was a strong possibility that no one would have her back.

A sob escaped her throat, but she bit back on it, refusing the tears that were threatening her eyes.

How long could she keep this up?

She didn't register the light taps on her door at first. When they became more immediate and harder, she finally recognized what was going on.

She knew his knock. She knew he was there. She just didn't know if she could deal with this now.

But she also knew he had a key and she would be damned if he was going to let himself in to find her a crumbling mess.

"Just a second," she said loudly enough to be heard as she pulled herself together and headed for the door.

She barely had the knob twisted before Mulder pushed his way in.

"What is going on with you, Scully?" his face was a slight shade of red and his eyes were narrowed….accusatory.

His demeanor, his gall, his attitude, all of these things finally caused her to ride the rollercoaster they way other people did.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Mulder?" she spat back, the Irish in her raising up in her voice as she slammed the door shut.

He started pacing, never taking his eyes off her face.

"It means, what is with you? You've been acting like a robot for days now!"

She sucked in her breath and straightened up. She didn't need this, she didn't want this and she sure as hell didn't deserve it.

"What do you want from me Mulder? You want me to put on a Pollyanna smile and dance around for your amusement? I'm sorry but my job is not to keep you amused!"

They stood on opposite sides of the room, both rigid in their intensity, both determined to win this fight.

"Your JOB Agent Scully is the X-Files, something you don't seem to have a whole lot of interest in anymore, so I ask again, what is your problem?" He was practically spitting at her, his face more alive with emotion than she had ever seen before.

He always said he wanted the truth…..well, she was about to give all the truth he could handle and then some.

"My JOB is the X-Files, just like my LIFE is the X-Files. Hell, my life IS an X-File, one that you opened, by the way. I have just as much invested in that office as you do so stop treating me as if I don't!"

He opened his mouth to retort but she cut him off and kept on going.

"And how DARE you accuse me of lack of interest! How DARE you question my dedication! You of all people! You filthy hypocrite! Mr. 'Its useless, let's run off with the Syndicate and Diana and let the world end.' Don't you ever, EVER question my willingness to fight the fight!"

Her mind was racing now, flashing pictures of Emily and Melissa and Cassandra and Gibson, images of Mulder and Diana holding hands, images of her father's face when she told him she was joining the FBI. They added fuel to the fire. Scully's rollercoaster ride wasn't anywhere close to coming to a stop.

"Goddamn it, I won't ever give up on our work without a fight, I thought I could trust that you would be the same! But my trust doesn't matter to you anymore, does it? Not when something better is around. Not when Diana Fowley has your attention. I don't care if you two had a thing, Mulder! I don't care if you still love her! But I will NOT let you sacrifice my dignity for her!"

Finally, the lack of oxygen got to Scully and she stopped screaming. Breathing heavily, she glared at her partner, waiting for him to begin his tirade.

Which he did, at an equally high decibel level.

"Is that what this is all about, Scully? Are you that insecure? How can you question me after all we have been through? Do you honestly believe that I would cave so easily? That I would just say 'Oh well' and pack it in? That is crap! Especially coming from you….YOU who claim to know me so well!"

His hazel eyes blazed as he walked closer, continuing his rant as he got nearer to her. Scully straightened and stared him down. She wasn't about to show any weakness.

"Do you know WHY I trust Diana? Do you? You know everything else about me! Did you know that Diana was my WIFE!"

Mulder had talked about out of body experiences many times, but Scully never gave it much creedance until now….when she started having one. She didn't want to be sure he had said what she thought he had but she knew he did and that…. that was a little hard to swallow.

"Your……your what?" Scully said with half of a voice. Her eyes wide with shock, she felt all the blood draining from her head.

Reality began to set back in as Mulder realized what he had just said. It was not exactly the way he had wanted this to come out, but such was life. She wanted the truth…..

"She's my EX-wife….we were married. Briefly. We were divorced in 1990. So you see, I think I know her pretty well. I'm not an idiot and I'm not a fool. I thought YOU would have trusted me more than that."

They were less that a foot apart. Scully stood silently for a moment, processing the connotation of what she had just been told, looking for any other meaning, but not finding it.

She never thought to check Diana's personnel file. She felt the rage and anger well up in her again. She was either going to vomit or scream….she hadn't decided which.

"Why….how…..why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me?" She knew she was slightly incoherent, but her mind and her mouth were no longer in synch. "You want to talk about trust! Why did you keep that a secret? How could you not tell me about this?"

Mulder reared up, getting more in Scully's face.

"Now who's the hypocrite! How dare YOU get all self righteous with me when you were keeping plenty of secrets yourself!"

Scully's face was as red as her hair.

"What are you talking about!"

Before he could stop himself, Mulder let loose on her in an emotional stampede.

"Why don't we talk about your little trip to San Diego, huh Scully? Turned out to be pretty pointless, didn't it? Nothing out there for you, was there?"

She froze at this, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe that he of all people would use this to get at her. She mentally begged him to stop, but he continued his assault.

"You should have known that you wouldn't find what you were looking for and I bet it just ate at your almighty ego to come back empty-handed and embarrassed at the idea that you, the great Dr. Dana Scully, could be led to 'BELIEVE' so easily!"

The ride was over, there was no more track left. Scully's rollercoaster crashed into the rocks of reality.

Her soul burning with an intense anger that would cause Ares himself to cower in fear, she pulled back and slapped him as hard as she could.

"Get……..out……." she hissed.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Spoilers concerning Agua Mala, Arcadia and Alpha.

Disclaimer: All together now: The X-Files belong to CC and crew. I don't claim them.

CHAPTER 10

They didn't speak for days and when they finally did, it was strictly about work. Scully debated about requesting a transfer, but she had meant what she said to Mulder, she was as invested in the X-Files as he was. She wasn't going anywhere.

The tension between them over the next few weeks made the office feel a lot smaller than it was. There was a lot of paperwork to be done. A lot of boring, administrative things, not too mention the disappearance of Jeffrey Spender, but all of it was distracting enough to keep either of them from bringing up the fight to end all fights.

The truth was, Scully didn't have the strength to fight Mulder anymore. Things were clear to her now. She was there to do her job and nothing would keep her from doing that.

The next few months were equally as strained. She let him talk her into going to Florida to investigate an X-File during a hurricane. She would never let him accuse her of not putting her all into the work.

When Mulder was attacked by…..well, by water….. she feared for his life. Despite what had transpired, she wanted to help him. He must have known that because after it was all over, he seemed to lighten up to her, a little.

She still hadn't forgiven him, though. She started wondering if she ever could.

Then Skinner forced her into her own private hell. Arcadia. Having to be stuck in the same house as Mulder for an extended period of time was one thing, having to pretend to be married to him, well that was another.

Every time he tried that cutesy, touchy-feely stuff she considered breaking his arm. Or shooting him. The latter was definitely the more attractive option.

It wasn't until after the whole experience with Kerin Berquist and the Wan-Shang Dol that they made a step forward.

She had left him at the office, as per usual. She had been nice to him, offered him some words of comfort. She didn't consider it reaching out as much as not being the "Ice Queen."

She was sitting on her couch, flipping through a magazine when the familiar rap on the door came.

She frowned and walked to the door, remembering how she almost ended up on her butt the last time she had let him in. This time, she opened it enough to put her body between the door and the doorframe.

It was raining outside and he was drenched. He also seemed to be very interested in his shoes, but then his eyes rose to meet hers.

"Scully, I'm sorry about what I said. I should never have unloaded on you like that."

He sounded sincere, but her resolve was still strong.

"No, no you shouldn't have."

He nodded, and then sneezed. As much as she wanted him to go, she didn't want him to catch pneumonia.

"You look like you're freezing. Come in, I'll make you some hot tea or something."

She opened the door for him but didn't usher him inside. This was going to take baby steps. They were silent as Scully busied herself with his tea and Mulder sat quietly at the kitchen table. Finally, she took the seat across from him.

He looked at her. She looked at him. Both were afraid to speak, but Scully decided long ago, fear was not something she would give in to.

"Mulder….there's something I need to know," she began slowly. "How did you know about San Diego."

He stopped sipping his tea and looked at her earnestly. She couldn't read his expression, something he was well known for.

"Frohike gave me your flight number," he said. "But Diana gave me the flight manifest."

Scully frowned again, but in confusion.

"Diana?"

Mulder noted her confusion and explained.

"She told me about Agent Holcomb and her parents," he said carefully, trying to avoid another confrontation. "She felt you were trying to dredge up the past to discredit her. When she showed me the flight manifest to San Diego, I had hoped she was wrong."

Scully rubbed her forehead in frustration as Mulder tried to maintain his composure.

"Wait…..Agent who? Mulder, I have no idea what you are talking about."

He sighed in exasperation. He really hoped they would be able to move past this.

"Come on Scully, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sorry I threw it in your face but let's be honest here."

Scully removed her hands from her face and glared at him. Her fury building up.

"Mulder, I didn't go to San Diego because of your precious Diana," she explained. "I went for Emily."

Now it was Mulder's turn to be confused, but Scully didn't stay seated long enough for him to ask questions. Instead, she got up and walked over to her desk, pulled open a drawer and pulled out a thick yellow envelope, the contents of which she quickly deposited back on the table.

"What is this?" he asked as she rifled through page after page.

Scully chuckled sarcastically as she tore through the documents.

"Whatever you were led to believe, Mulder, I did not go to San Diego to investigate your ex-wife. Although I realize you live in a world where everything is about you. This however, was not."

She came across some pages that had been stapled together and shoved them into Mulder's hands.

"Read," she demanded flatly.

After several moments of reading, his shoulders slumped and he looked at her woefully.

"Oh my God, Scully….I….." he shook his head. Then she recognized it, he looked betrayed.

As much as she wanted to gloat, she didn't want it to be over a revelation concerning her dead daughter.

"It's getting late, Mulder," she sighed as she started putting the papers back into the envelope. He said nothing more. He simply nodded and left.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far, you guys are awesome. For midheaven: In season five, there are two episodes, "Unusual Suspects" and "Travelers" that take place in 1989 and 1990. In those episodes, it's very easy to see that Mulder is wearing a wedding ring. It was never disclosed who he was married to, it was open to interpretation, but I always figured it was Diana because the timeline would place her in his life about that time. Which makes me hate her character even more… Thanks for the feedback!

Disclaimer: Play it again Sam: The characters, plot and all the fun stuff belong to 1013 Productions, Chris Carter and a whole lot of people who have more money than I do.

CHAPTER 11

Watergate Apartments

One hour later

Despite the fact that he was red/green colorblind, Mulder was pretty damn sure he was seeing red.

"Open up Diana!" he bellowed as he pounded on the door several times. His anger resonated through his arm and each time he struck the door was harder than the previous blow. When the walls started to shake, one of the neighbor's stuck his head out the door and threw a couple of obscenities at Mulder in addition to a cease and desist before security was called.

When the man shut his door, Mulder huffed, backed up and kicked the door in. While he half expected Diana to come running in from the other room, furious at him for damaging her door, what he found was a whole lot of nothing.

The rooms were bare. No furniture, no occupancy, no Diana. Mulder ran his hand through his hair and swore under his breath. He started checking the rooms. His hazel eyes dark with a fury that he had long ago thought was buried. Her ability to stay two steps ahead of him was unchanged and he had fallen for it: Hook, line and sinker. In his angry daze, he became conscious that there were other people in the room shouting at him.

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2:35 a.m.

It was a sound she had once been used to hearing at this time of night, but the sounds had ceased in the last months. So when the shrill ringing of her phone startled her from her sleep, she wondered who would be calling her.

"Mmmm….hello?" she said groggily.

"Hi Scully, it's me. Sorry to wake you."

There was something to be said for familiarity, as far as Scully was concerned. 50 percent of the time when Mulder called in the middle of the night, he was in some kind of trouble, the other 50 percent involved him wanting to talk himself out of a nightmare.

She wondered which half of the proverbial pie she would be indulging in tonight and if she even wanted to.

Never let it be said that Dana Scully wasn't a creature of habit.

"Mulder, what's wrong?" Try as she might, she couldn't hide the concern in her voice. It had become instinctual and while their 'relationship' may be tense, that didn't mean she had stopped caring about him.

However, it was the familiar sound of someone throwing up in the background that clued her into which percentage Mulder had fallen into tonight.

"Scully, I hate to ask this but I was wondering if you could help me out…."

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4 a.m.

They walked out of the police precinct together, neither saying a word. The air was brisk and cutting, much like the emotional lacerations the two had inflicted on each other in the recent weeks. They both knew there were major repairs to be made, the question was, did the other one think it would be worth trying?

"Thanks for posting my bail," Mulder said sheepishly as he buckled his seatbelt. "I owe you one."

Scully exhaled fastened her own seat belt. "Yes, Mulder, you do. And since I'm awake, I'm going to collect."

They drove to a 24-hour diner and sat in the back. Jail obviously didn't do anything to curb Mulder's appetite as he ordered a heavy breakfast. Scully on the other hand was interested in two things: Coffee and the truth.

"Mulder, I want to talk about this," she said slowly, focusing on the spoon in her cup. Mulder stopped chewing and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"What do you want to know?" he asked after swallowing his mouthful of eggs.

Despite herself, Scully smirked and chuckled, her tired blue eyes more curious than angry as she took in the jail fodder sitting across from her.

"Well, for one thing, why did you break into that apartment?"

Mulder sat back and looked around uncomfortably, hoping his partner would let him off the hook. However, the determination on her face was easy to read and he realized the time had come to pay the truth piper.

"I went to see Diana," he said slowly, not looking at Scully at first, but then turning to meet her eyes. "I was angry and I overreacted….on her door. But it doesn't really matter because she was gone."

Now it was Scully's turn for raised eyebrows. "What do you mean, 'Gone?'"

"Just that, 'Gone.' She moved out. Packed in it. Headed out. God only knows where or why."

"_I could think of a few places I'd like her to go,"_ Scully thought to herself and fought the urge to speak out loud. Instead, all she could come up with was "Okay…."

Mulder leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table, staring at Scully. He knew if he didn't get it out in the open now, he might never be able to.

"I don't know on what level or why she betrayed me in this thing, Scully. I only know that for some reason, she did and that I should have given your instincts more merit. For that I am truly sorry."

Scully didn't know why she asked, but before she could stop herself, the words came tumbling out.

"Why didn't you tell me about your marriage to her before?" She bit her lip, not wanting to really know the answer.

Mulder sighed, but never broke eye contact.

"The situation is not something I am proud of. Diana and I were married in 1989. She left me in 1990, right after we discovered the X-Files. We didn't even make it a year. The work became my life and I pushed her out. She wanted me to make a choice."

Scully swallowed hard. _"You're asking me to make a choice?"_ The memory was still painfully clear, just as the big picture was starting to become. Mulder continued with his confession:

"I chose the work. I chose my only existing connection to finding out the truth about my sister. I chose to be 'Spooky' Mulder the FBI's Most Unwanted, tucked away in the basement with my flashlight and my UFO poster."

Scully nodded and unconsciously started leaning forward on the table herself.

"I thought about it for a long time after she left," he explained. "I began to question it. My desire to know the truth outweighed the vows I made to this woman, so I began to wonder if I even loved her at all, or if I loved the idea of having someone there. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be the latter. That was tough to stomach. It's hard to look into a mirror and see someone who can be that cold, Scully. Over the years, I fought hard to get away from that, so when she showed up, I guess I felt I owed her something."

He finally broke his eye contact and began to study his hands.

"But in proving that to her, I betrayed your faith in me," he became very quiet. "I made a choice, a wrong one. And while the work has been my life and may always be until I find Samantha, there has never been a day that I have regretted working with you. I can only regret not telling you this before."

He looked up and Scully caught her breath. There was such pain behind his eyes, such anguish and something else, something she rarely saw in him.

Desperation.

_"Dear God, please give me the strength…"_ she prayed silently to herself as she reached across the table and took hold of one of his hands, giving it a tender squeeze accompanied by a small smile. Her mother's words repeating over and over in her head. When all was said and done, Dana Scully knew of one thing: She wanted Fox Mulder in her life and she would fight for him.

"Mulder, I wish you would have told me all this sooner, but I can understand why you didn't," she said slowly, knowing the ghosts of her own past. "I would be lying if I said that all was right and forgiven, but we both know it's not going to be that easy. We both said and did somethings that were pretty harsh."

Mulder nodded and gave Scully's hand a small squeeze in acknowledgement.

"Faith is a strong bonding thing. Like trust. My faith in you is still there, I think it always will be, I…. 'We' just need some time for these wounds to heal," she said. "I'd like to work at going forward. There's too much pain in the past."

"Okay." Mulder gave her hand one final squeeze and then pulled away, reaching for his wallet to pay the bill as Scully stood up to put on her coat. The idea, the belief that they would face the future together, no matter in what capacity made her more warm than the thick wool of her coat. For the first time in a long while, she was looking forward to tomorrow.

"Um…Scully?"

She turned around to see the panic face that she so cherished. "What is it Mulder?"

"I think I left my wallet at the jail."

Scully glared at him for a second and then burst out laughing hysterically.


	12. Chapter 12

This is pretty well going to wrap it up, I think. Most of us knows what happens in season 7, 8 and 9. I just wanted to paint a little picture of season 6 and release some of my Fowley hating tension.

Disclaimer: Don't own them sue.

CHAPTER 12

Washington D.C.

A few months later.

As cliché as it sounded, Mulder had to give some creedance to the notion that time heals all wounds. Many things were the same but much more was different. Scully still shot holes in all of his theories, but now she did it with a faint glimmer of something new in her blue eyes. He didn't know what it was, but he liked it.

They were also spending more casual time together: Pizza and moviesat his place, beer and the Knicks at hers. Neither of them considered that time dating as such, but they were both grateful to have each other's company.

Even if they never said that they did.

On this particular day, he and Scully had to put off watching a movie for some real work. The only problem was that he had overslept and as he stood brushing his teeth, finally looking into the mirror and not seeing a heartless empty shell of a man, he heard Scully's familiar knock on the door.

When he answered it, he was slightly surprised to see the rattled look on her face. "New neighbor?" she asked. He shrugged and put the toothbrush down. "Yeah."

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"Mr. Padgett?"

Part of Mulder wanted nothing more than five minutes alone with this guy in a closed room with no witnesses. The other part of him wanted to getthis guyas far out of his and Scully's lives as possible.

For the most part, Scully seemed fairly detached from this case, which was a huge shock considering their main suspect had already written close to 300 pages about her life, her thoughts, her "fictional" extracurricular activities. Something about this guy was not right, even if Scully didn't see it and as long as this "writer" was obsessed with ihs partner, Mulder was goingto keep a close eye on his.

No matter what had transpired in the past, Mulder would fight with his life and breath to make sure his partner would be safe from harm. He knew she knew it too, which was probably why she wasn't putting up too much of a fight when it came to Mulder's obvious displays of machoism that he had taken up during this case.

"We're sorry Mr. Padgett, we made a mistake," Mulder said coolly, thinking about how good that five minutes would feel. "You're free to finish your novel."

He handed the smaller man an evidence bags filled with papers, Scully keeping close behind him, as if Mulder was shielding her. As Padgett passed, he gave her a brief look that made Mulder want to shove that bag down his throat. Scully just looked at him with a mixture of pity and sympathy.

"I made a mistake as well," Padgett spoke, turning to face both the agents.

"How so?"

Padgett cleared his throat and looked at her for a brief second.

"In my novel, I wrote that Agent Scully falls in love," he said briskly. "I know that now to be impossible."

Then he turned and glared at Mulder.

"Agent Scully is already in love."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving alarm bells going off in both the agent's heads.

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Weeks later…

Phillip Padget had been dead for weeks, but his words continued to hang out there between the agents as if he had just spoken. And while Mulder had wanted to question Scully about it, he also didn't want any type of confession to be the result of instigation by a crazed novelist.

Now, as he was leaving Arthur Dales' crappy apartment, an idea came to him. _"Agent Scully is already in love."_ Mulder smiled and decided it was time to up the ante. Instead of driving home, he pulled into the nearest sporting goods store.

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"So I get a this call on my answering service from a 'Fox Mantle' telling me to come down here for a very early or very late birthday present, and I'm looking around and I don't see any nicey wrapped presents so….what gives?"

Mulder smiled wickedly at his partner as she leaned against the fencing of the dugout.

"You've never held a baseball bat, have you?"

She chuckled and wrapped her arms around her. "No, I guess I always had more worthwhile things to do."

Mulder grinned at her sarcasm. He loved it when she was a smartass and the way the lights from the ballfield reflected off of her hair…..

"Get over here Scully," he practically growled.

The night had been fun. She hit a few good ones with his help and without it. The kid shagging balls for them made a good $30, but when the bat gave her a splinter, they decided to call it a night.

As they walked to their cars, Mulder swung his arm over her shoulder.

"I dunno Scully, you might be ready for the majors, if you can learn to suck up the pain a little."

She pinched his side and laughed as he doubled over, pulling her down with him. They struggled to disentangle themselves, laughing hard and kicking up dirt. Finally, she broke loose and leaned against her car, trying to catch her breath from the hysterics.

"No fair, Mulder," she gasped. "You're taller than me, you have the upper hand!"

Mulder dropped the equipment he purchased on the ground and leaned over, resting his hands on his knees, laughing just as hard.

"You may be short but you carry a big elbow," he laughed, but when he looked up, it subsided. The stadium lights then shut off, leaving them in the dark with only the illumination of the moon in the sky directly behind Scully. The light cast a luminous halo over her and, God help him, she looked as if she were glowing.

Her laughter subsided at the look on her partner's face and she began to wonder if she had connected with his head.

"You okay, Mulder?" she asked, always concerned.

He remained in that position a few seconds longer, before straightening up. "Yeah. I'm good. I think I'm great even."

She chuckled. "Well, we think a lot of ourselves, don't we?"

He smiled but walked closer to her. The expression on her face changed as he reached up and traced her jaw with his finger. He looked into her now wide eyes earnestly.

"That's not what I meant, Scully." He whispered. A small smile crossed her features as she seemed to welcome his touch.

"I know, Mulder. I know how you feel."

He closed the few more inches of space between them. This was different than the events of the hallway. There was no sadness, no tears, no desperation. This was positive, pure, perfect.

He leaned closer to her face and was happy to see her eyes close a little as she leaned into him. He lifted her chin and stared at her.

"Scully…" he whispered.

She smiled again and ran a hand up his shoulder to the nape of his neck.

"I trust you, Mulder. I love you, too."

He smiled and leaned in, closing the spaces between their lips.

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In the darkness of the surrounding area, the black Cadillac sat motionless, its power off. The occupants watched the two people entwined in a very passionate kiss.

"You've failed to separate them." A puff of smoke drifted across to the passenger seat where she sat, attention affixed, clearly angry.

"We underestimated their devotion to each other," Diana said flatly. "We strengthened their bond."

The older man leaned back in the driver seat and took another drag off of his cigarette.

"We'll wait and see," he said snidely. "If no other opportunities present themselves, we'll create them."

The two dark figures watched asthe man and the woman outside remained locked in love's embrace, quietly promising each other that the future was theirs, no matter what it may bring.

-FINIS-


End file.
